How To: Recover From a Break-Up

 When you break-up with a loved one, you will often feel like the world is coming to an end, that you are doomed and that you'll never meet someone else and fall in love again. But guess what. You DON'T HAVE TO FEEL THAT WAY and MOST OF THESE THOUGHTS will ONLY BE TRUE IN YOUR MIND and not in real life. You will meet new and exciting people and will have MUCH BETTER experiences with them and eventually create a lasting, healthy and strong relationships. Think about it, if you broke-up with your loved one then something had to be wrong. If you haven't tried to fix it and you decide it is worth to go through the same bullshit over and over again - go for it, if it really means that much to you. But if something was wrong and is beyond repair, and you've tried all your best to make it work and still it failed, then WAKE UP AND START MOVING ON!


Most of us know what it is to be in love and what it is to be hurt afterwards.  And it's okay to feel bad after a break-up - it's a completely normal reaction. I know because I've been there, so that's why I decided to write this article and share my experience on how to deal with break-ups. What we will cover in this article is how to eliminate the negative feelings and feel lot happier with following some basic rules:


1. DON'T STAY ALONE, SOCIALIZE
First off, you can't let yourself be alone - surround yourself with people, go to parties, socialise and meet new persons from the opposite sex. It's important to remember that you have to be strong and move on, most importantly even when you feel like breaking down. Of course, a great idea will be to meet one, or even several persons so you can get sooner out of the break-up zone . Don't concentrate on being sad and wait for them to comfort you, instead be the initiator and learn more about them by asking questions - by doing this they will open up to you and you will make friends and people who will start to care for you.

2. DON'T STAY ALONE, SOCIALIZE
Second of all, YOU REALLY MUST NOT LET YOURSELF BE ALONE. You will pity yourself, think about your ex, get sad, depressed and nothing good can come out of this. I mean it - GO OUT AND MEET NEW PEOPLE! If you don't have a lot of friends - make some! People are waiting to be discovered by you out there. The most important thing to understand is that there is plenty of fish in the sea, and by meeting new people you will ease these feelings, make friends or even future relationships that hold the potential to turn out a lot better than the previous ones, trust me. I've been there and I know! You will find the healing power of friendship in this moments, so don't shut yourself from the rest of the world - just the opposite, socialize! 

3.  LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE - MORE TIME FOR YOURSELF
Sit for a moment and think about all these things that you couldn't do before when you were tied to the commitment and all the new horizons that have just opened up for you. Now you can focus on a subject and achieve something for yourself. You can start building up your body, for example by going to fitness, jogging and sports (and again you will socialise and meet new people, plus you will even be more desirable). Invest in your brain - read books, articles, study and work towards discovering new things - expand your horizon! Only bored people feel bad, so start moving and start using your time by investing in you. It pays off GREAT!

4. AVOID CONTACT WITH THE EX / SEVERE ALL CONTACTS
 You should avoid contact with your ex AT ALL COSTS. Contacting her/him after deciding to move on or even worse - if she/he contacts you can have dire consequences. So - change your mobile, block her/him from your e-mails, chat programs, social sites, delete or burn all pictures, throw all his/her stuff away and severe that connection - YOU DON'T WANT TO GO BACK THAT WAY - THERE IS ONLY PAIN AND HUMILIATION TO IT, BELIEVE ME. Be strong, do all of the above and move on - you will be much better and ahead in your life in no time. 

5. DON'T BECOME AN ADDICT
Most people (mainly men) are turning to addictions after breaking up like excessive drinking, smoking and even drugs. You don't have to do that simply because you will throw your life away and your life is too precious to be thrown away like that. Try to drink and smoke (or whatever one you do) to a certain limit - never abuse it. If you have a problem with addiction, there is also professional help like therapy groups where you can meet people going through the same problems such as yours and who will help you. Don't let your vices drag you to the bottom, because there is NO GOING BACK from there!

6. LOW SELF-ESTEEM, LACK OF MOTIVATION and such...
 There are a lot of books to help you on the subject and if you really do feel like there is problem - you should totally do something about it! A few of my advices that I can offer you are:

 6.1 LOW SELF-ESTEEM
  If you do have a low-self esteem maybe you should get some self-help literature and reflect what is the cause of the problem. Maybe you don't like something about yourself, or people made you feel bad in the past - but THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT OF THIS. And you can do it and get out of the hole in no time, believe me. First, you have to realize that you are yourself and accept that, however you look or however others feel about you - you are beautiful and imporant and don't ever anyone tell you otherwise. If you feel you are bad in something - practice at it to get better. If you  

 6.2 LACK OF MOTIVATION  
  If you have lack of motivation I suggest this: make yourself a hot coffee then drink it, put your sweatpants on and go out for a jog. Do this on a regular basis anytime you feel that way. You will get energy, your brain will start working better due to the oxygen it gets and all negative moods will be lifted up. Enjoy 

 6.3 EXTREME SHYNESS   
  There are a lot of books on that but I will tell you what worked for me when I was younger. I got out and talked to people acting like I wasn't shy. Soon, my shyness slowly disappeared and now I am not afraid to approach people. Try it - go to a store and ask for a product, then simply thank the person and walk away - they are not gonna kill you or anything, it's not like you are in school where teachers act like that just only to manipulate you to study harder and such (which is good after all). You will never have another boyfriend/girlfriend if you don't/can't talk to persons from the opposite sex.

7. TALK TO SOMEONE GOING THROUGH THE SAME EXPERIENCE

Sometimes, it is very helpful to seek people who know what you are going through and seek their company. It is nice to talk to someone who is understanding and compassionate. Here, the best choice would be a girl since they are more intuitive and sensitive. However, beware if you can't/don't trust that person, for he will use you for your weakness. Never reveal too much or you will find yourself alone again with bitter memories.

8. FINAL WORDS 
 So, recovering from a break-up can never be easy, but persistence in these advices will get you out of feeling miserable and on the way to meet new exciting people, future lovers and friends. Most important things to remember are that you are moving on now, you are determined not to look back, because you are now looking for new experiences and exciting people, while enjoying the new time for yourself by making yourself better and having fun.